The Ultimate Poopie List

Ghost Poopie

The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.

Clean Poopie

The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there's nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Poopie

The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with skid marks.

Second Wave Poopie

It happens when you done poopie-ing, and you have pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize you have to poopie some more.

Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie

The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you almost have a stroke.

Richard Simmons Poopie

You poopie so much you lose 30 pounds.

Lincoln Log Poopie

The kind of poopie that is so huge, you're afraid to flush without breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

Corn Poopie

Self Explanatory!

Gee, I Wish I Could Poopie, Poopie

It's the kind where you want to poopie real bad, but all you do is sit, cramp, and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Poopie

That's where it hurts so bad coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump)

The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

Liquid Poopie

The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splatters all over the toilet, and at the same time chronically burns your tender poop chute.

Mexican Food Poopie

It smells so bad the room is condemned.

The Girlie Poopie

The people that think their poopie doesn't stink.

Fisherman's Bobber Poopie

That's the kind where you're in the public rest-room, and there are two people waiting for your stall. You poopie and flush two times, but several golf ball-sized pieces are still floating on the water.

The VanGough Poopie

That's where after you poopie, you are shocked to see all the different colors in your poopie, and try to figure out what you ate to do it again.

The Show-and-Tell Poopie

You're so impressed with your own poopie, you leave it in the bowl so all your friends can appreciate it too

The Wipers Nightmare

That's the kind that breaks off too soon, so half falls in to the bowl and half stays hanging.

Ambush Poopie

That's when your in public and you think you have to fart, but you get a sneak attack squirt instead.

Paralyzing Poopie

When you're sitting poopie-ing so long your legs fall asleep.

He Just Poopied, Poopie

When you get done poopie-ing, you put your shorts back on and go out in public with those identifying bright red pressure circles on the back of your legs for all to see.

The "What Crawled Up Your Butt & Died?" Poopie

Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odor.  Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.

The Snake Charmer Poopie

A long skinny poopie which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless.

The Ritual Poopie

This poopie occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.

The Ranger Poopie

A poopie which refuses to let go.  It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.

The Premeditated Poopie

Laxative induced.  Doesn't  count.

The Porridge Poopie

The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming.  You have two choices:  1) Flush and keep going. 2)  Risk it piling up to your crack while you sit there helpless.

The Pebbles-From-Heaven Poopie

An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you cannot poopie.

The Peek-A-Boo Poopie

Now you see it, now you don't!  This poopie is playing games with you.  Requires patience and muscle  control.

The Mood Enhancer

This poopie occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.

The "I Think I'm A Bunny" Poopie

When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

The "I'm Going To Chew My Food Better" Poopie

When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.

The Honeymoon's Over Poopie

This is any poopie created in the presence of another person.

The Groaner

A poopie so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.

The Energizer Poopie

"Still Going!"

The Crowd Pleaser

This poopie is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.

The Cliffhanger

Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off, because if you wipe now it's going to smear all over the place.

The Back-To-Nature Poopie

This poopie may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.  Beware of poison ivy wipes.

The Aftershock Poopie

This poopie has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours will be affected.

The Terminator

You poopie so hard you fall off the toilet.

T2

More extreme then The Terminator, you require some medical assistance to restart your heart.  Clear!

The Cowboy

You've got to poopie so bad that you proceed to buck and holler until finally the poopie's been tamed.

The Runner's Poopie

Experienced by long distance runners who don't want to stop so they poopie in their shorts.

Poopszopherenia

Fear of poopie-ing, can be fatal!

The Pool Poopie

Usually performed by younger children.  It's too much fun in the pool so why get out?  Makes a great floatie toy afterwards!

Painter's Poopie

You're up on the scaffolding and it takes to long to get down so you just cramp it and wait.

Lost Poopie

That's when there's a poopie in the urinal.

Farmer Poopie

The jiggling of the tractor gives you the urge to surge so let it fly and watch the corn grow to the sky!

Hallmark Poopie

You're so touched by the sentimental value of your poopie you've just gotta send it to someone for their birthday.

Seat Slider Poopie

You've leaned a little to far back and now there's a racing stripe left for everyone to see.

"Bomb's Away" Poopie

This one is distinguished by the whistle through the air and the loud thud when it hits ground zero. Outhouses only!  (a.k.a. "Da Bomb!")

Chills and Trills Poopie

The arctic air has frozen your hands so there's no telling if it's your butt or the paper your wiping that blessing up with.

The Shiver Poopie

The Lord has blessed you so much by this one that it's followed by a quick shiver and a giggle, sometimes even goose-bumps.

The Thrift Shop Poopie

Always a great value!

The Recycled Poopie

The Earth can't lose when you reuse!

The Vegetarian Poopie

Looks a lot like garden burger.  Tastes like it too!

The Dragster Poopie

Starts off slow, but get's out of the hole quick.

The Polaroid Poopie

Gotta have a picture.

Hee Hee!!!